


Bring me to the calm

by heartlesslynx



Series: Laflams Fluff and Headcanon [5]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Anxiety, Comfort, Headaches & Migraines, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, Multi, Overwhelmed, References to Depression, Self Care, being sad, irritiability, positive mental health practices, sad john Laurens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-03 13:24:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10968141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartlesslynx/pseuds/heartlesslynx
Summary: Series of hurt/comfort one shots covering depression, anxiety, and various mental health conditions, using Laflams.





	1. Depressive Episode: John

**Author's Note:**

> That moment when the writer decides to get out the angst and sads in the best way possible
> 
> edit: May 30th: Turned into oneshot series because WHY THE EFF NOT

Alex wasn't really one for comfort. It wasn't that he was exactly 'bad' at it, but with how well Lafayette and John dealt with emotions and each other, he kind of lacked. Alex typically spoke with passion, sometimes (often) without thinking, meaning he could make a situation indefinitely worse without meaning to.

Until today that is.

Alex had been working at the office, the Thursday mind numbning work leaving him in the dust. His work was finished, so he had started reasearching additional content for the magazine's website when his phone went off. He picked it up, swiping the screen and looking at the message.

John: Rough day, when will you be home?

Alex looked at the clock, replying.

Alex: I'm scheduled for another hour, so about a hour and a half. Is Laf home yet?

it wasn't even thirty seconds before he received the reply.

John: He's not home till late. T.T

Alex's heart stopped. Laf had been out of town for the day, something to do with a new job that he wanted to try. He wouldn't be back until that night, and now Alex was kicking himself for forgetting. He saved where he was, shutting down his computer.

Alex: Calling it quits early, be home in twenty. Think you'll be ok that long? I can call?

As he walked down the hall to Washington's office, he felt his phone buzz again. He knocked on the door, the door opening to Angelica. "Hey, just wanted to let you know I'm leaving early. Family emergency."

"No problem Alex," Washigton said, Angelica throwing him a sympathetic glance as he waved, turning down the hall towards the elevators. He opened his phone, his heart sinking in his chest.

John: Just get home please. I want you safe. I'm just being stupid.

Alex knew that John struggled with depression. It wasn't a constant, so when he had lower periods, he took it hard. He undermined himself and his health, trying to play it off and ignore it. And if anything Lafayette had taught him about mental health, Alex knew that wasn't good, and it wasn't right.

Alex: 1. You're not stupid. 2. I'll be home in twenty, I can use my bluetooth if you want to talk.

He booked it out of the elevator, messaging Laf and letting him know what was going on. He climbed into his car, grateful he had driven to work that day. Even though the parking was outrageous, knowing he could get home whenever he needed it made it worth it.

Alex sped through the city, taking every back road he knew of, trying to make it home quickly. He felt his phone vibrate several times, too focused on the road to try and use his phone. By the time he made it into the drive, it was seventeen minutes. By far the fastest he had made it home. He grabbed his bag, getting out of the car and checking his messages. He saw the updates from Lafayette, updating him about how he was changing his plans, heading home as quckly as possible, quickly followed with an estimated time home of a hour. with no other messages from John, Alex let himself into the house.

"John, I'm home!" Alex called, the house too silent. He dropped his stuff on the side table,  heading down the hall in search of his partner. He found the kitchen and living room empty, and both the guest room and office's doors were openn, no John in sight.

"John?" Alex called, making his way up the stairs. He heard a muffled noise from the hall, their bedroom door closed. Alex knocked, the noise continuing. "John, I'm letting myself in." he said calmly, the feeling in his chest not matching his voice. He opened the door, hearing John's quiet crying. He looked into the bedroom, the comforter pulled to the top of the bed, bundled around John, the blanket shaking as John's cries shook him. Alex hurt, seeing his lover so upset.

Alex moved to the bed, sitting down beside John. He struggled, unsure how to proceed. Did he hug him? Let him cry it out" Pat his shoulder? Offer to destroy the bad feelings? He was unsure. He thought of what Lafayette would do in the circumstance, chosing to wrap an arm around John. "I'm here." He said comfortingly, John un burrowing from the blanket and choosing instead to wrap himself around Alex, his cried continuing as he burrowed into Alex's shoulder. Alex wrapped his arms around him, running one hand soothingly up and down his back., quietly saying "i'm here, I'm here." to his lover.

The two stayed like this a while, John's cries lessening as time went on. Alex's soothing words helped, John calming, his breathing evening out, his cries lessening, some almost hiccups by the end. Alex continued, waiting for John to be ready to talk. Or not talk. Whatever he needed, Alex was there.


	2. Anxiety: Alexander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex has an anxiety episode. Talks of medication adjustment, self care, etc.

Everything was loud. More specifically, everything was getting loud.

Alex had decided to work from home, the Tuesday work meeting being put on hold until the next issue was published. He hadn't felt like going in on the dreary day, and one call to Washington later, he was holed up in his office, working on his authors advice column for the next issue. He had been at it for most of the day, having briefly taken a break to make himself a sandwich and sit with Lafayette, the Frenchman dropping off groceries in between errands. So while working on another reply, he came to the awareness that the clacking of his keyboard was quite annoying.

"Why is it so loud?" He wondered, grabbing his noise canceling headphones from his desk drawer. He paused, thinking back to if he had taken his meds. He thought back to the morning, remembering he had taken it over breakfast. "They should still be working, I just had an adjustment a month or so ago." Alex had been on an anxiety medication for most of his adult life, college being a point where he really couldn't overlook the symptoms anymore. The panic attacks, paranoia, all these things he couldn't ignore anymore. So he had gone to the on campus medical clinic and had started talking to a councilor, which later lead to a proper therapist and a prescription for an SSRI. The actual medication itself was adjusted bi yearly, around the same time as his regular checkup.

Alex pushed the worry aside, taking note of how he felt in the moment. The discomfort could really be anything, even the weather could be a factor. He pushed it aside, putting on his headphones and trying to concentrate again.

About an hour later, he recognized a loss of focus. He was staring at the same response, not really seeing anything. He paused, taking into account how he was feeling. He felt a slight pressure in his skull, something he associated with migraines and caffeine dependence. He sighed, saving his file before making his way to the kitchen.

He put himself through the motions, making a pot of coffee, doing the small pile of dished in the sink while it brewed. He poured himself a hearty mug, even stealing some of Lafayette sweetened creamer to 'Make coffee better' as Laf would say whenever Alex or John drank it black. He made his way back to the office, leaving the door ajar so when his lovers came home they could feel free to pop in. He sipped his coffee, scrolling his twitter. "And of course Jefferson had macaroni for lunch. Because he is made of cheese and noodles for how often he eats it." Alex thought in mild irritation. He made it about halfway through the cup before feeling his heart rate pick up. He worried a little, pushing the remainder of the mug aside.

He opened his writing program again, trying to push through it. He put his headphones back on, changing the music over to an ambient noise generator, the sound of a forest filling his ears. He took a deep breath, counting for five beats in and seven beats out. He didn't feel quite right yet, but he didn't have much left to do for work. He could get through it.

He worked for another hour, hour and a half, just automatically filling out responses to the questions he had received. He was thankful they were simpler questions, things he had answered before and could just quickly reply to before moving on. He ignored the tightening in his chest, determined to work through it. But then, the ambient noise generator picked a track with thunder.

Alex stilled, the first crack of thunder playing through the headphones. He heard the smaller sets of crackling 'in the distance', and immediately ripped the headphones off. "Shit." He cursed himself, forgetting his writing. He felt his heart racing, his chest tightening. He tried to breathe normally, not to let his breath quicken. He really really couldn't deal with an anxiety attack right now. Not alone. He was grateful to Lafayette and John, both suffering their own mental health issues before joining the relationship. They understood how coping worked, and were very good about getting himself through when he needed. And right now, he had to admit, he needed them.

He grabbed his phone from his desk, leaving his work. He knew he had done enough for the day, and he could do more later, even the next day. He retreated to the living room, grabbing the blanket from the back of the couch and wrapping himself in it.

To: Lafayette

Hey, how far away are you?

He didn't even need to wait a minute, his phone buzzing in his hand.

From: Lafayette

Just got out of yoga, about to go grab coffee with Peggy. Why? Need me to grab anything?

He paused, not wanting to interrupt his lover's day. But he knew that Lafayette would be more upset about him going through something alone when he could have been a help than he would be about his 'day being interrupted.

To: Lafayette

Mind coming home? Anxiety is kicking in hard and I really don't want to be alone.

Almost instantaneously

From: Lafayette

omw

Alex sighed, trying to not be so tense. His automatic response to the anxiety was to curl up, make himself as small as possible. Through experience, he knew the physical affect of it was that he would end up sore from over tensing his muscles for such a long period. He heard his phone buzz, checking to see a message from John.

From: John

Lafayette will be home in about ten, I can get out early if you need me?

To John

Please.

He waited, focusing on his breathing, trying to ignore the tightness in his chest. He hated that part, the physical response to his brain being a shit. He tried not to think of it negatively, that his brain was actually out to get him or that his body was against him. But when he was so used to it being a non issue, for it being handled, it was hard to not wish that he had a different body.

He heard a car door slam, the garage door opening and closing with the sound of rapid footsteps. "Mon Chou?" Lafayette called, turning the corner to find Alex stationed on the couch. One look, and Lafayette was by his side, wrapping his arms around Alex. Alex sighed, finding comfort in Lafayette's arms. His heart was still racing, but when Lafayette started running his hands through Alex's hair, he could feel a layer of tenseness slip away.

"Everything ok?" Lafayette asked calmly, holding Alex close.

"I think I need to go in for an adjustment again." Alex mumbled, burrowing into Lafayette's shoulder. "I don't know why, it's just not being handled like normal. Even my coping wasn't helping."

"It's ok, Mon Chou." Lafayette said soothingly, rubbing his hand up and down Alex's side, "Sometimes adjustments don't work. That's why we monitor and go get things adjusted, right?" Alex nodded into Lafayette's shoulder, trying to absorb some of his calm through osmosis.

They stayed entangled like that for a while, Lafayette calmly speaking to Alex. Alex had asked how his day was, Lafayette launching into a 'calm ramble' as Alex coined it, the sound of his boyfriend's voice very calming even if it was about boring things like buying laundry detergent or the women from yoga who would talk over the instructor. Alex heard another car door slam, the garage opening again, John coming down the hall.

"Guys?" He called gently, rounding the corner to see them wrapped in each other. 

"Hey baby." Alex croaked, John rounding the couch and joining them. He sat down on the other side of Alex, wrapping an arm around him.

"How bad?" John asked quietly.

"We're going to go and see about another adjustment." Lafayette said calmly. Alex nodding from where he was burrowed. John hummed, letting the silence take over for a while

The three sat for a while, Alex's heart returning to a regular pace, Lafayette asking John about his latest project, John listing off what he was doing for it. By the time Alex felt more himself, the sun had started to dip low in the sky.

"Well, I think comfort food is in order." Lafayette stated, pulling out his phone. "How does Pho sound for dinner?" John hummed in agreement, Alex nodding. Lafayette placed an order, John untangling himself from them to go find the remote.

"Alex, what episode of The Great British were we on?" John asked, pulling up the show. Alex had to think for a second, chuckling to himself. 

"Dough-verload." He chuckled, John cracking a grin. He picked an episode, joining the boys back on the couch.

They fell into the routine, the trio watching the mindless television that they found comfortable. When the food arrived, they would get up, eat their meal, and return most likely to the same position. It was comforting, it felt like home. And to Alex, that was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all.  
> I've decided to turn this work into a chapter work? Several different one shots from different universe, mostly just modern laflams because that's my bread and butter. This should also be a good way to constructively use my own thoughts and feeling while working through my own problems.
> 
> and yes, the routine of watching great british bake off is from my own life. Because there is nothing like baking to ease anxiety? (says the baker. who bakes every day. and still and anxious af? Yeah, idk either)


	3. Self care and Fidgets, oh my

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Self care was something that fell to the wayside. It couldn't be helped, it just happened. Self care help and comfort from the boys, plus fidgets!

Self care was something that fell to the wayside. It couldn't be helped, it just happened. Alex would be fine, and then a week later, here he was. Exhausted, physically and mentally, and he knew he was in rough shape. "Mon Chou, stay home." Lafayette tried to chide, Alex shaking him off. Work was the only thing getting him out of bed these days. 

'That's a lie and you know it.' he thought to himself, knowing that John and Lafayette would worry if he took an 'ugly day' without talking about it. But he didn't want to talk. He didn't want anything. That was the point of this whole problem. And he knew the boys would understand him. But he couldn't bring himself to ask for help.

"I'll be home tonight." Alex stated, grabbing his to go mug and kissing Lafayette on the cheek. He headed out the door, seeing a sleepy John stumbling out of their bedroom. He stopped, going to his boyfriend and giving him a kiss before heading out.

By the time he made it to the office, Alex knew it was going to be a rough day. The subway had him pulling his hair out, and the first person to stop him on his way into the office was Jefferson. Alex's mood stayed at a dismal level, feeling easily irritated at little things. He had to stop himself from snapping at the intern on staff, the kid nervously fidgeting with a pen during the editors meeting. Alex had held it all in, his mood awful even on his standards.

He made his way back to his office after his meeting, closing the door before sitting down in his roller chair. He felt weak, his body buzzing with a gross combination of anxiety and caffeine. He had to admit it, he felt horrible. And yet here he was. At work. and he would get through it. Because that's what Alexander Fucking Hamilton did. He remembered writing thesis papers in worse shape, he could handle this.

An hour in, he felt the tenseness starting in his shoulders. The edge of discomfort enough to make itself known but not enough to stop him. Not really anyway. He kept going , even when he felt his heart rate rising. Even when the world faintly felt like it was turning. He didn't stop until the words on the screen that he hadn't been typing for a solid five minutes started to blur just past legible. His breathing had started to quicken, the tenseness in his body feeling unbearable.

He was too far gone to do much. Breathing was hard, his breaths tight and pinched. He grabbed for his office phone, his unsteady movements knocking over his cup of pens before grabbing the line. He his Angelica's number, pulling the phone to his ear. She picked up on the first ring. "Yes Alex, I know Jefferson is an ass, bu-"

"Ang," He panted, "Please come in here." Angelica hadn't been needed recently, Alexander's anxiety in control with the use of medication. But right now, Alex could hear her chair scraping back as she stood. 

"Is your door unlocked?" She asked, Alex groaning in affirmation. "Be there in one sec." He heard the clack of her phone going back on the cradle, and within seconds he could feel Angelica's hand on his shoulder.

"Alex, I need you to breath with me, ok?" She said calmly. Alex tried, his breaths catching in his throat. "Come one Alex, deeper breaths, ok?" He tried, he really did. He could feel the dark dots dancing before his vision and he really wasn't for passing out right here. And he tried again. And again.

"Alex?" He heard, Angelica pressing his cell to his ear, "Baby, it's ok." John's voice was soothing. How had he known? "Come on baby, we need you to breath, ok?" Alex felt tears falling down his face, his breaths still pinches and awful, and.

"It's ok Alex. Just breathe. Just breathe for me baby." And with John's voice in his ear, Alex's breathing became less broken. His breaths lengthened, John starting to count the lengths for him. He felt the weight of his limbs, the tenseness lessening to bearable levels. He heard Angelica talking to someone. He looked up, realizing that Angelica had moved him onto the floor at some point (had he fallen? He wasn't sure anymore). He felt a layer of shame, looking up to see Washington and Angelica talking, Angelica on her own phone.

"I'm sorry." Alex cried, tears streaming from his eyes.

"It's ok baby, remember?" John comforted, "It's what we do, ok?" Alex's tears flowed freely, Alex feeling so drained. "Lafayette and I are almost there. Do you want us to come up and get you?" Alex wanted to say no, to say that he would get himself down to the lobby. But he knew he couldn't at that point. Not safely anyway. "Don't worry baby, I'll be there in a few minutes, ok?" Alex agreed.

In the few minutes it took Lafayette to drop John at the lobby and for John to make his way to the offices of the Federalist, Angelica and Washington teamed up, getting Alex sitting up in a chair, a water bottle in hand. John opened up Alex's office door, looking around of Alex. He sighed in relief, Alex sitting up and being responsive a good sign. 

"Hey baby," John said gently, coming forward and hugging Alex. Alex sat there numbly for a moment, a little overwhelmed, but none the less wrapping his arms around John. They stayed that way for a moment, before John loosened his hold. "Ok baby, let's get you up, ok? Lafayette's ready to take us home." Alex nodded mutely, taking John's offered hand. John offered his thanks to Angelica and Washington, both reassuring John and Alex that it would be ok for Alex to take a few days off to get things sorted out.

"See you back in a few day, son." George said, patting Alex on the shoulder. Alex nodded, a little ashamed that his boss had seen him in such a state. The two departed, making quick work of the elevators, joining Lafayette in the car. The two sat in the back, Alex laying down across the back seat, laying his head in John's lap. He closed his eyes to the passing city, trying to make it all disappear. 

**several days later**

Alex and Lafayette were sitting at home, Lafayette mixing a batch of blueberry muffins, Alex casually reading a novel, his free hand squeezing a releasing a stress ball shaped like a bee. It had been a few days since Alex's panic attack, the boys bringing him home and comforting him to the best of their ability. The next day he had awoken numb, feeling 'better' in a way. They arranged for Alex to go talk with his therapist, John driving him to his appointment, coming in when Alex asked for him to give the outside perspective.

"How was he behaving, in your words?" She had asked, John holding Alex's hand. 

"He was a little more skittish?" John suggested, thinking back. "He hadn't eaten much for dinner the night before, and he hadn't been motivated to shower in the morning. And he just felt off. Like, irritability is a regular thing in our household. But he just seemed a level of upset that none of us could identify."

"I couldn't put my finger on it." Alex said, "I got to work and it just all kind of, crashed? I couldn't even identify something that would have set me off. It just, happened." The therapist nodded, the three talking over various reasons for the panic attack and it's severity. Afterword, they talked over several options for proceeding. She helped Alex reestablish a few coping mechanisms, reminding him that he could trust his partners, both of whom had come to appointments in the past. She had handed him the stress ball, recommending fidgeting as a way to deal with the smaller points of anxiety. He had taken to it like a fish to water, the stress ball being stowed until he needed it. They had also agreed that the current medication could possibly be a cause to Alex's dismay. 

"I know we just adjusted it, but it may be a factor." She reminded, having Alex do a journal of any attacks or blatant panic in the coming week between then and his next appointment. All they could really do was to monitor it at that point.

"How's the book Mon Chou?" Lafayette asked, Alex looking up at him.

"Good." Alex said plainly, closing it. Lafayette nodded, grabbing the tin for his muffins. They heard the door, John coming home from errands.

"I have found the solution!" John stated, walking into the kitchen, two bags in hand. He handed Lafayette the groceries, taking the smaller bag and handing it to Alex, looking excited. Alex threw him a questioning look, before opening the bag.

"Fidgets?" Alex questioned, pulling out the three small boxes. "I mean, I know the spinners are a thing. But John, I can't seriously use one of these."

"Of course you can." John said cheerfully, "I found the most professional fidgets I could find. And from what the young lady at the shop said, these are very popular with adults." Alex questioned the logic, before opening the first box to find a ring. 

"John, if you're proposing again." Alex joked, picking it up, feeling the thin second layer around the middle of the ring. he pushed against it, the second layer spinning around.

"I picked on that fit your pointer finger," John indicated, Alex putting it on the suggested finger. He pressed his thumb against the layer, flicking it, the ring spinning in a very satisfying way.

"Alright, that's kind of nice." Alex admitted, knowing he could get away with that one. at least when he was typing. He looked curiously at the two other boxes. He opened the smaller one, finding a cube with little black things on each side. He flipped it to and fro in his hands, messing with the switches, the small buttons, the smooth track ball. He felt a little silly, but he had to admit, it was nice. He could use that one in a professional setting pretty easily.

"Not going to lie, I may be getting a second one of those." John said affirmingly, "When I was talking with the lady at the shop I ended up messing with one as we talked and I can see why people say it's easier to focus while fidgeting."

"Sadly, I do not." Laf sighed, "Too many things at once. I wouldn't be able to focus on the task at hand if I didn't have my attention focused solely on it."

"Well, they aren't for everyone." John noted, "Once a fidget is treated or accepted like a toy instead of a tool, it's not being used for what it's intended for." Laf nodded, Alex taking the moment to open the last box. He looked quizzically at the ball inside, the mesh around it seeming odd. He grabbed it, the feel very different from his bee stress ball. He went to squeeze it, and the 'ball' squished out the mesh holes. Alex looked at it for a moment, a grossed out look on his face. He tried it once more, before putting the ball back into the box, putting it back on the counter and sliding it back to John.

"I think these two will work?" Alex questioned, giving the closed box an odd look. John looked at the two Alex had decided on, taking the third box and putting it back into the bag.

"Well, there we go then." John said cheerfully. "See, no worries. Completely professional, and it should help with coping just like the stress ball." Alex smiled, glad that his boyfriends were so understanding.

"Have I mentioned how much I love you lately?" Alex asked, John perking up at the word 'love' coming from Alex's lips. John blushed, coming around the counter to give Alex a hug. 

"It's nice to hear." John sighed, Alex hugging him back. Lafayette wiped his hands, coming around the counter to join them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo kiddos  
> Kinda having a writing binge day. so here, more things. yay self care! fidgets! Things!


	4. Lafayette: Headache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headaches are the literal worst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That moment when you are using your own frustration and irritation at life to Torture your fav poly trio...... I'm an awful person

In their relationship, Alex and John could agree that Lafayette was a large portion of why they worked. He was the calm in the storm, he was the voice who spoke firmest, and sometimes that meant they leaned on him for support more than they intended. So on days like this, they had to stop themselves from feeling guilty.

Lafayette had been working at the french patisserie in midtown for the last few weeks. He had been enjoying himself, finding the work fulfilling even though the schedule kind of messed with him and the boys routine. But they made it work.

John was supposed to be the first home, his current commission work thankfully mostly being done on location at the gallery. So when he came home to find Lafayette's car in the drive, he became a little worried. He closed his car door, walking up the sidewalk and letting himself into the house. "Lafayette?" He called, listening for signs of his lover. When he was greeted by silence, he gave the house a once over. He found Lafayette's abandoned work bag on the side table, his shoes kicked haphazardly next to it. John worried more, heading straight up the stairs. Normally Laf took to napping in the early afternoon so he could spend the evenings with his boyfriends. He popped his head into the bedroom, seeing his lover lying across the top of the duvet, not even having made an effort to get under the sheets. He was still in his work clothing, his pants and chef coat dusted with various flours.

"Lafayette?" john asked gently, Laf stirring from his slumber.

"Yes?" He asked, even his voice sounding tired.

"Do you want help getting changed?' John offered, "Then we can get you under the covers and you can sleep till Alex gets home?"

"Non, non, I can do it." Lafayette said stubbornly, pushing himself up on his elbow. he rubbed his eyes, the dark circles underneath a little worrisome.

"Laf-" John started.

"I've got it." Lafayette snapped. John was taken aback, not really used to Lafayette being like this.

"Ok." John said plainly, getting out of Lafayette's way. He brushed past, unbuttoning his chef coat and tossing it aside. He grabbed a pair of sleep pants, pulling off his chef pants and boxers, replacing them with the softer clothes before getting back into bed, actually slipping under the covers. John sat down on the side of the bed, wanting to ask Lafayette what was bothering him. But with how abrupt he was being, he didn't want to irritate him. He started running his hand through Laf's hair, something he associated with comfort. But Laf pulled away, burrowing further into the blankets. John understood, getting up and letting Lafayette rest.

He made his way downstairs, quietly heading into the kitchen. He checked the time, guessing Alex wouldn't be home for a little while. He started planning dinner, checking the fridge and pulling out vegetables for a stir fry. He messaged Alex, letting him know Lafayette was home. He responded with a single 'K', likely meaning he was in the middle of something or other. 

By the time John had put together dinner, Alex had messaged him, letting him know that he was on the way home. John cleaned up the counters and cutting boards he had used, putting other items away to clean later. He looked at the clock, guessing it would be a good time to go wake Laf so that he could join them for dinner when Alex got home. He made his way carefully up the stairs, lightly knocking on the bedroom door. Lafayette groaned, John peeking his head into the room.

"Alex is on his way home." He said quietly, "Thought I would wake you so you could come eat?"

"Not hungry," Laf mumbled, rolling over and pulling the blanket over his head. John held back from pushing the issue, knowing Lafayette was grown and would come get food when he wanted some.

"Alright, we'll be downstairs if you need us." John said, Laf grunting in response. John closed the door again, heading back to the kitchen.

When Alex arrived home, John updated him before he made his way upstairs to change, saying how Laf seemed a little under the weather.

"He's probably just tired?" Alex guessed, "I mean, he's getting out the door before we're even awake most mornings. I wouldn't blame him for wanting to nap away an afternoon."

"I guess so." John said, still not really sure. "Could you ask him if he's ok? He wasn't up to talking to me."

"Sure thing." Alex agreed, heading upstairs.

John served up dinner for Alex and himself, putting aside a portion for Lafayette for later. He heard some rumbling upstairs, hopefully Alex not disturbing Lafayette. Alex came back down the stairs, having changed. "He kind of just grunted and rolled over." Alex indicated, sitting down and grabbing his bowl. "I guess he's just not up for talking?"

"I'll check up on him after we eat." John determined, Alex agreeing.

About twenty minutes later, John made his way up the stairs again, letting himself into there room. "Gilbert?' John asked, sitting on the edge of the bed farthest from Laf, "Are you ok?" Laf didn't really indicate a response, not even moving. John got up, carefully approaching the other side of the bed. His eyes were adjusting to the darkened room, looking carefully at Lafayette's face. There was a tenseness in his face, his eyes pinched closed. John lightly ran his finger tips across Laf's forehead, trying to see if it was warm. The pained groan that came from his lover quickly made him regret that choice.

"Honey?" John asked, "I'm worried. Are you ok?"

"J'ai mal à la tête." Lafayette groaned, burrowing further into the blankets. John stared blankly, realizing he was out of his element here. Lafayette and Alex slipped into French pretty seamlessly, but they both were very conscious that John wouldn't understand. So if Lafayette was speaking French to John, it typically wasn't intentional. John pulled out his phone, messaging Alex and asking for him to come upstairs. He heard the quiet steps, Alex coming into the bedroom.

"What's up?" He asked quietly. John nodded towards Lafayette.

"He said something in French that I couldn't understand." John noted. Alex nodded, asking Lafayette what was wrong. Or at least that's what John presumed was being asked. Lafayette repeated the phrase from earlier, Alex humming in response.

"John, can you go grab some headache meds?" Alex asked. It clicked, John connecting the dots. He slipped into the adjoining bathroom, opening the cabinet and grabbing the bottle of headache medicine. He shook out a dose, filling the glass by the sink with water. He came back into the bedroom, Alex sitting next to Laf, talking quietly in his ear. When John returned to his side, Alex had convinced Lafayette to sit up, the man groaning as he picked up his head. He took the offered pills, tossing them in his mouth and swallowing them with a swig of water. He was quick to retreat back into the blankets, curling up in a ball. John felt bad, wanting to offer comfort in some way. He thought back to being kids, Martha being prone to migraines and the like. He remembered his mother's trick, quickly getting up and retrieving a cold washcloth, coming back and laying it over Lafayette's eyes. Laf twitched at the initial pressure, before some of the tenseness left his face. Alex patted John on the shoulder, getting up and leading John out of the room so Laf could rest.

A few hours later, John and Alex had finished doing the evening dishes, curling up on the couch to watch mindless television, John sitting on the floor between Alex's legs. He was messing on his phone, Alex typing away on his tablet, when the two heard Lafayette moving around upstairs. "Sounds like he's up." Alex noted, John hoping he would make his way downstairs.

A few moments later, Lafayette was heard coming down the stairs, the taller man bumbling about, making his way to the living room. "Hey sleepy." Alex greeted, John getting up to go check on him. "How's the head?"

"Gross." Lafayette mumbled, John coming around the couch, wrapping hims arms around Lafayette. Laf leaned his head on john's, wrapping him in a warm embrace. "Sorry for being so crabby, little one."

"I don't take it personal." John said simply. "I'm sorry your brain was hurting you."

"Happens." Laf grumbled, clearly still not fully functional. 

"Did the meds help any?" Alex asked, coming around the couch and feeling Laf's forehead with the back of his hand.

"A little." Laf admitted, "Normally I just sleep it off, but this one's not letting up." He clearly was displeased with this.

"Well we'll keep an eye on it." Alex affirmed, "Mind letting us know if it gets worse?" Laf hummed in agreement, releasing John from his hug.

"There's a dinner in the fridge for you?" John offered, Lafayette's face screwing to clearly not content. 

"I can take it for lunch tomorrow." Laf determined, "Right now that doesn't sound so good." John nodded, a little worried that Lafayette felt that unwell.

"Can I get you anything?" John asked, Lafayette clearly unsure.

"I think I just want to go back to bed." Lafayette sighed, "I just wanted to come say goodnight?"

"Goodnight Lafayette." Alex said, giving his boyfriend a kiss on the cheek. John did the same, before Lafayette turned and made his way back up the stairs.

"I hope it goes away by tomorrow." John sighed, Alex agreeing with him.

The two spent the evening quietly working in the living room, slipping into the bedroom around midnight. They climbed into bed, very careful not to jostle Lafayette. John slid in front of Lafayette, sliding an arm around his waist. Alex lay behind him, curving his body comfortingly around Lafayette.

By morning, John was surprised to find Lafayette still in bed. John grumbled, facing Lafayette. He opened his eyes, his lover staring blankly ahead. "Laf?" John asked, Lafayette blinking sleepily in response. "I thought you worked today?"

"I called in." Laf grumbled, closing his eyes in defeat. John's concern rising.

"Are you ok?" He asked. Laf shook his head, leaning into John.

"It won't go away." He groaned, "I woke up and it just won't go away."

"Did you take more meds?" John asked, Lafayette nodding. "So what do we do now?"

"I had Alex go get some stronger meds." Lafayette said, wrapping himself around John. "I just want it to go away."

"I know baby." John said comfortingly, Laf shuddering against him. John untangled an arm, running it through Lafayette's hair. 

They stayed like that for a while, Alex coming home with a stronger medication. They got the medication into Laf, the frenchman falling back asleep not long after.

"I'm going to stay home." John decided, Alex agreeing. Alex got ready, kissing John and checking on Lafayette before leaving. 

It was almost noon before Lafayette made his way downstairs. John looked up from his laptop, working on his website. 

"How are you feeling?" He asked, getting up and approaching his boyfriend.

"I think it's gone?" Lafayette said weakly. John felt relieved, having worried about what would have happened if Laf had still felt unwell this late into the day.

"That's good." John said, hugging Lafayette. They enjoyed the comfort for a few moments, breaking apart so that Lafayette could go shower. When he returned, John had reheated the dinner from last night. He had also messaged Alex, the writer replying with a plethora of emojis.

"I'm sorry I was so inconsolable." Lafayette said over lunch, "I don't know what came over me."

"You weren't feeling well, it's perfectly understandable." John reminded. 

"But I'm just...." Lafayette started, John's curiosity piqued.

"You're what?" he asked.

"I'm the one who.... fixes?" He guessed. "I mean, not like we're broken. Not broken, no, I, I just don't......" John tried to guess what Lafayette meant.

"You're not really used to the one being consoled?" John guessed. Laf considered it, nodding. 

"I mean, I know that it's not bad." Laf started, backtracking, "I just. I couldn't handle it. And I took it out on you? And I know that's not right."

"No, it's not." John confirmed, "But that's no different than anything else we deal with. It was just your brain not agreeing with you." Laf paused, inevitably agreeing with what John said.

They wrapped up lunch, John bringing Lafayette into the living room. He sat them down on the couch, wrapping himself around his lover. Lafayette sighed, still feeling the effects of the headache. 

"I'm sorry." Lafayette apologized.

"There's nothing to be sorry for." John reminded him. "We can all feel unwell. And be crabby. As long as we come back from that, that's all that matters." Lafayette sat in silence, before solemnly nodding. John wrapped his arms around Lafayette, the two sitting in the comfortable silence. They could get through so much together, and that's all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joking mostly about being awful. But this came to me while at work and I just had to do the thing.  
> aka, the 'welp, migraines suck. time to suffer' fic.
> 
> J'ai mal à la tête: google translate equivalent of I have a headache XD


End file.
